Sometimes its hard wearing a collar, constantly reminded you are owned. Sometimes it is joyous to wear such a thing, the steel about your neck. Captivated, owned, taken, proud, chained.
Those would be the five words I'd choose.
I love my Master. I do. It couldn't be more potent, but there are times I wish He would treat me as I am.
I have a scenario in my head. There is no such thing as scening, no play, just cold, hard, sharp reality.
This is not a game, some twisted hide and seek, some brutal game of cops and robbers. No.
I am a slave
La Fucking Kajira!
I want him to grab me, shove me to the floor, kick my legs apart, snatch a fistful of my hair and growl into my ear. I want Him to smack me against a wall and hiss commands at me. I want Him to snatch my wrists and tie them. I want to FEEL like a slave, I want to be snapped into submission. I want him to be rough with me, I want him to BE the Master I met in the beginning. I want him to make me cry, I want him to make me feel scared and hurt. Anything to make me feel my place beneath his feet. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!
On the other hand my mind is so frustrated i want to scream.
I'm just so very very totally extremely PISSED OFF.
Things are not going well for me and my life. Half of me wants to kick the shit out of someone, The other is so flustered she wants to crawl into the deepest darkest hole where no one can touch her and just... cry.
Fucking
Fed
Up
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